Life/career advice

Hi guys, semi-serious post time....

I have recently come to the conclusion that I never want to work again, & I am trying to figure out how to do it. Now before you say it, what I mean by work is 9 to 5 grind with no sight of the sun. I want to do either things I love, or things that I see as being worthwhile.

Those of you who have had little email conversations with me will know I am finding it tough taking that first step. It is in my nature to only take calculated risks, & this seems big & scary. So, what I would like is some advice on what I could do. These are the ideas i have come up with so far:

1. Completing my Cert IV in training so I can run some training courses.
2. Writing columns for newspapers & magazines (whilst working on a book I recently started)
3. learning air-brush art so i can do body-painting
4. Maybe go into radio

These are some of the things I can do:

1. I can write reasonably well
2. I am a decent public speaker/trainer
3. I can draw (but not pengu8ins )
4. I can do accountancy (but don't really like to)

I want to pick a couple of things to do. But the criteria is that I get to enjoy the daylight (I am not a night person), and I get to control my own working day as much as possible. Oh, & I would like to be able to afford to live on my own (not share with a flatmate cos its beginning to bug me ), the cost of a one-bedroom in Sydney is about AUD$200/week.

So, suggestions? Please ask questions as well, cos that might help me. Any advice you could provide would be appreciated

[ 27 May 2002, 00:05: Message edited by: Rozi ]

Ah, Rozi, welcome to my world.

I would love to give you advice, but I'm a bit bewilderd as to how to go about this myself. If you find out do let me know, will you?

I will, I will. It is a massive step & I am kinda scared. Especially because all my close friends & family have always been in typical corporate jobs, so I have no idea how to begin doing anything else. But I am taking inspiration from a friend of a friend. At 58 years of age she is moving to Tuscany to teach in a convent school in a small village. So, surely at 23 I can reclaim my life?

I have come to the conclusion that the stereotypical life we lead is not suited to many, and is in fact devoid of spirituality for many. Some get a buzz out of it, some find it the fulfilment of their dreams and ideals. Most seem to find it painful & stressful. Surely there must be something else I can do

I've been taking a really serious look at my life lately and wondering just exactly what the f*ck I'm doing. And I'm really not coming up with much besides getting drunk and having fun. Not what you would call a brilliant career choice.

The questions that I am trying to answer right now are:

What do I value?
What makes me happy?
What do I enjoy doing?
What skills do I have already?

So far I have come up with a list of things that I value. Friends, family, community. But I am really down right now, so I don't feel strong enough to do much about the community stuff.

What makes me happy is travelling around on my own. Going to cafes, good food, good wine, writing, drawing. Dancing makes me happy. Talking to people about their lives makes me happy.

My skills? This is the toughest thing, because when you are down you feel like you couldn't get a job digging a trench. But I can make people smile & laugh. I can help people understand things and picture things. I can draw. I can write. I would love to do stand-up comedy!!! I am good with my hands. I am not afraid to be on my own, and I am not afraid to be in a group.

Its a start...

You may find this useful.

I wonder if you will go self employed?

The question is not what will i do with my life, but what will i try today? Having a broad set of goals is a good way to start.

Do you know or could you find out about people who have chosen to pursue a similar path?

Go meet them, ask questions!

What other resources will you tap into, books? career advice centres? libraries? life coaches?

It seems like you have a series of long term goals, that's great! most people don't even consider planning or designing their life, you already have a head start. Although such goals may seem huge at the moment the question is 'How do you eat an elephant?'

'One bite at a time!'

Make an action plan for 5 years, 1 year, 6 months and this month. You might divide it up into sections such as financial, spiritual, health, relationships, learning etc.

Now write a list of actions to take TODAY what's the very first smallest steps? a phone call? a trip to the library? a visit to someone? buying a book?

You will achieve your goals only if you TAKE ACTION ON A DAILY BASIS.

A great way to start is to buy a note book and write down your goals and action plan for each day, It feels tremedously satisfying to see your goals in front of you and it helps strategies and plans become clearer and hence easier to achieve.

So many people sit around talking about what they could do and what they could have done. I know that you are not one of those timewasters, you seem like one of those people who get up and go for it, you are already becoming happier knowing that you are starting to work towards your dreams.

Good on ya!

Live with passion!

Go for it!

Now!

Axis.

Axis has some great advice there.

Also, perhaps draw a picture or write a description of yourself now, as you see yourself in a month, in a year, in 5 years, 10 years, 30 years, in your old age.

If you're serious about figuring out a different way of supporting yourself than the 9-5 grind, I think you need to make it a long term project - aim to be doing something completely different in 5 years time, and start off doing things in your spare time. You don't really sound like you know 100% what you want to do, so I would suggest trying out different things. A couple that spring to mind are if you like public speaking / stand up comedy, go to an open-mike night and just talk. I know of someone on the net who does this (he dry-runs - by writing them out) his talks on one of the sites I go to... you could do that with us if it makes you feel more confident.

and get involved in a community art project / theatrical project.

Unfortunately no one wants to just give money to people for doing stuff they enjoy doing. Either you're doing something which helps someone else fill a demand (and make money, which they then pay to you for your services), or you've found a niche in the market place yourself and fill it direct. Often the fun stuff is poorly paid precisely because it is fun! It can also be really hard to get into because a lot of other people are all trying to get into it too.

Good luck, though!

i dont know if this is relevant, but heres my story. it had never occured to me that i might end up with a job i didnt like, i just always thought everyone had a choice. then i saw the real world, but i never thought that i would ever let myself go where i didnt enjoy my life. (im not bagging you out by the way) anyway, im still doing stuff i dont enjoy cos im in college. but im only doing subjects i want and need because i want to go to the national institute of circus arts and become either a performer or start up my own classes down here in tas. you have no idea how many people have tried to get me to see career counsellors, or told me id end up without any backup, or said that im really stupid because "what if i change my mind!" and most of this is behind my back, but i know its what i want to do and noone is going to make me do what i dont want to (so far so good anyway). so the moral of my story is, do what you love and anything that will help you get there. (by the way, sont say stuff like, 'but what do you do when youre getting there' and stuff cos i havent figured it out yet) and im sorry if this all sounds messed up but it sounded alright in my head!

Go to Drama School, it's one big play area believe me!

Or, you could take night classes and train to be an Expressive Therapist, which will involve most of the things you've listed as your talents, AND youo help people in the process!
Voila!

Y'know, Im thinking the same kinda thing myself...the way I've planned it is I'm going to Uni in September for 3 years to do a music course while carrying on singing on tracks that are gonna be released. I@m unemployed atm, so and money is a bonus, and when I finish Uni I want to go into music/event promotion of something similar - what I now know I want to do and I'm gonna bloody do it!
So good luck, think hard, and have fun!

I am attempting that route myself.. (the not 9-5 one) and am finding it is taking a bit longer to get there than I originally intended, but i am heading there. I do graphics design for a university that specailizes in online master degrees. Currently I can do everything from home but it is not "accepted" that I be out of the office. There seems to be trust issues as to whether or not you actually "work" at home.

I think computers are a good way to go though. Once it gets more accepted I will be be able to work where ever there is electricity and an internet connection. I can do almost all of my work offline and then find someone with a connection to send it back to work. It seems only vital to connect about once a week.

Good luck.

I've been trying to figure out what to say... my mother has about three degrees and never has a real job altho she makes enough money.... the thing is, when she works she works shit hours, she just don't do it hat often... so there's always stuff like that..

self-employed is scary... but i think if you liek what ur doing it'll be worth it.. just don't forget to take vacations once you get started, no matter how much you love ur job you still need them....

I still don't knwo what i'm gonna wind up doing... other than not a typhical job... i couldn't stand it... if nothing else i'll travel around waiting tables until i figure out where and doing what i want to settle....

good luck Rozi! I [i[ know [/i] ur gonna suceed, and i wnat to hear about how ya did it when you do too! (help us younger ones eh?) *much hugs and love*

-Kyrian-

Your life is like a young tree, nurture it daily and you will flourish.

Only consistant action will allow you to achieve your dreams, and remember there is no 'there' when you get there.

It is what you do now, this moment, that counts.

Well,

If you are prepared to leave home then you might consider coming to play over here in Taiwan.

I work 25 hours a week playing games with kids (under the guise of teaching English),
- spend my spare time doing whatever I want,
- go out until 3-4 am most nights ('cause we all work afternoons/early evenings),
- am not particularly careful with money,
- zoom around on a big red motorbike,
- go camping at the mountains or the beach most weekends,
- rent a modern 4 bedroom apartment,
- live a fine life
- work completely legally
- pay 6% tax
AND still manage to save about AUS $20,000 per year.

I could use a few more poi and stick partners although I'm starting to get a small band of people interested and we hold sessions once a week. So - anyone who wants to come and play - come on in, the water is @#$!ing fine.

wanderinglinton
living the good life

one thing that has always worked for me is bartending. its a little better here in the states bc of mad tip$$$$$$$$$$$$ and i don't think ya'll have that there but still the hours are different you generally only work 3-4 days a week and my second solution was to travel bight your lips and get some money together it doesn't have to be a lot and travel out to unknown territorry that cures most any working man blues if you run out of money perform for money i met a kid traveling here in the states who goes from country to country (he was australian) making $ for plane tix and food a stays simply performing with his diabolos or put the two together come to america and bartend!

Yeah, my idea would be if you like poi, etc. Just start busking world wide

oh, and now that I think to mention it..

- go to work in a t shirt and shorts every day,
- feel that I'm doing something valuable,
- meet lots of interesting people,
- and feel like I'm travelling even though I'm not really (right now).

There's also the side effect that the weather has been superb - it rained the other day for the first time in 6 months.

I used to be a slave to the corporate world, working ridiculous hours, having 220 people working under me, and thinking that it was what I should be doing because I was making lots of money.

I am far happier now.

I hope you find your way, or as I did, come to realise a comfortable acceptance in not having to have a way. For me, life is about living and experiencing. Most of the best things I've done (and there have been an extraordinary amout) have not been the result of careful planning, rather the willingness to follow my feelings and accept that it is alright to not know what you are going to be doing in x years time.

Most of the plans you make will most likely change radically anyway. Very few people ever follow a straight path but instead wander down the various forks and opportunities that life presents.

I realise that this is counter to a lot of the suggestions already posted. However, I was highly successful in my carefully planned career, earning a truckload of money, and now I am a million times happier, have all the time I need to do what I want, and still put away good money each month.

I have friends here that can get by working 8-10 hours a week just for speaking English.

I'm 33, getting younger every day, and never been happier.

If anyone is actually interested in coming out here, or finding out more, you can email me at wanderinglinton@hotmail.com, send me a private message, or just reply to this post.

It is also just a great way to make money and have fun if you are not sure where you want to go next.

Peace and Hugs to all
wanderinglinton

I had written a beautiful reply, but I lost it cos I put too many smilies in it I will try to recreate it, but you will have to imagine the many expressive little faces...

Thank you all so much for your advice. I have actually printed this out & am going to keep it for inspiration. There are so many wonderful suggestions, some I may well take up, some I wish I could.

Wanderlinglinton (such an expressive name) thank you. It sounds an idyllic life. I wish I could take you up on it, but I think my life is here for now. But who knows into the future?

Sepa, check your profile!! And I love the idea of the pictures.

SickpuPpy, keep hanging in there, bud..

Axis, wonderful questions, and advice. So much so that Mr Miyage agrees with you!

Adren@line, don't worry, I know exactly what you are saying. When I started working I said to myself, I will put up with the crap for a bit, cos it will get better & I will get somewhere. Its been five or six years. You always knew what you wanted to do. You would not accept second best, & would not accept being unhappy. You put all your energy into that. I admire you for it...

dibs_star, I love your suggestions of Expressive Therapist!! I could teach people poi & how to laugh!!

Cyberpunkgrrl, you go for it!! It will be hard work but you will be doing something you love.

Dragonfly, thankyou. Have you thought about doing some contract work, striking out on your own? That way you are paid per project, on how much work you complete rather than the hours you spend sitting at a desk.

Kyrian, thankyou. I will keep you posted. But remember to take what I say with a grain of salt. I will most likely omit to tell you about the sleepless nights, the crappy days and the weeks of indecision. I will just pretend I was resolute all along in what direction I wanted to take

Mr Miyagi *bows respectfully in his direction*

colors bright smile, thankyou. I wish I could do bar-tending, but people would be physically maimed by flying bottles!! But travelling the world sounds wonderful

Bram, thankyou, my international busking superstar!!

Thanks guys, this helps. I can't tell you how intimidating it is taking such a step. So wish me well & keep your fingers crossed for me.

[ 28 May 2002, 19:58: Message edited by: Rozi ]

Well Rozi...

I didnt have time to read everything but the first thee post on the topic so xcuse me if I say anything that has been said...

Trust me life is a never ending journey which u can CHOOSE how to live... I know money seems to be a factor (we all need to eat dont we?) but its not really important in the long run...

Find something u love and then intelligently think it through... What u could do who u could work with... Move country if nessecarry! I know this sounds REALLY scary but u must not be afraid 'fear is the mind killer.'

Now there are cities in the world which are high opportunity and there are cities that arent... I happen to live in one that is very high opportunity, that is why I am staying here and reaching for my dreams of making music...

What if someone doesnt like ur music and u fail and are broke and hungry u ask??? Well, u need to have a skill that u enjoy but can take u through touch times and trust me u have to be ready for tough times as life just keeps hitting u...

I study sound engineering and the hours are extremely irregular (when the artist wants to record). So I know that if my music doesnt go well I can always lean on that and what major city of the world isnt in need of a sound engineer or two...

Anyway Rozi what I'm trying to say is that u are in charge of what happens to u and I know this sounds very dreamy but it WILL always work out in the end... Dont think u can wake up and BOOM your life will be sorted...

I suggest u try to do some sort of international correspondence job (u get to travel and the hours are irregular) and work on Radio, that is a very versatile one...

The trick nowadays is being able to change with the tide, being GOOD at various things not one or two like most of the previous generations!

Work hard, think hard and u will get there in the end!

I hope this has helped, pls e-mail me for further info and support!
Here for anyone in need, Drome!

Rozi,

How loyal you are to Oz is a big thing in this as if you saved up enough money doing accounting (boring as it is) you could retire in about 9 years to a developing country where you could follow any of your goals without the burden of worrying about money for the rest of your life!

Read all the books you've ever wanted to, spin all night, live life for it's more natural and important qualities amongst beautiful people from a rich culture.

Hey, that works for me! I'm off!

Hey Rozi eventually you will escape the systems grasp. *hugs* Until then don't let someone call the fire department to put out your inner fire, and let you light shine for all to see

It's always the right tie to change.
when i say 'come to confest' know that if you do, you will realise just how important the experience will be. everyone I know who did, ended up reexamining their lives. for the better. I personally work in a sterile legal firm and hence will be backpacking just as soon as my soulselling earns me enuff to do so. the plan was partially hatched when experiencing the true community of confest!
also, this life is too short to spend regretting. your life will blossom when you realise just how beautiful the present (any and every!) moment is. you have sincerely caring friends here too! your life should not be treated as one big journey to your end - stop and smile at the trees is what I do! do not allow your aspirations for tomorrow strip your enjoyment of today. I am grateful that I am still able bodied and free of much burden. smile, no matter what!
ya know what helps? musical inspiration. 'Lamb - Gorecki' or 'Lamb - Zero' some of the most important decisions in my life were made with those songs playing
andyesforgodssakeusepunctuation!

this thread has been fantastic inspriation!
Rozi, i hope everything works out for ya', let us know ok?
I woke up thismorning and sat in bed for a good hour or so, contemplating the future, and i got so worried that i was stuffing up my life that i started to punch myself in the leg!!! - now it hurts
At the moment i'm in my fourth year of a five year uni degree that i don't enjoy, in a field that i have no desire to work in.. I have been wanting to defer for the last three years, but just haven't been able to find the courage to do it!!! I would love to go OS and work as a ski patroller, it is my absolute dream job.. it just seems so damn hard to follow your dreams sometimes. To make things even harder, a very special girl (who makes me smile everyday) lives right here in melbourne and i don't want to leave her...
Then, when i think of some of the things people in this world are going through, it makes my problems seem small and insignificant, and then i feel guilty for worrying about them in the first place!! I have so much to be grateful for in this life!
Bender, i love your advice! I'm going to try to stop worrying about tommorrow, and make sure i'm smiling today!!

- oh, sorry for rambling on too.. but it really did help me out

--------------------
"I told my woman she was beautiful ten times a day, ten times a day she'd smile, and look away" - Faithless

... Thank you... Thank you all of you... even the people who haven't answered this thread... each of you... your words all just clicked... all the advice... the friendships... the love... I thank you all...

I guess I should really start at the begining... I hear thats always the best place to start.

I just read Falloutboy's post... and it really made me think... Am I stuffing up my life, Do I place things which have nothing to do with me in front of the things that really do matter. I left Queensland to look for something else... a new life... to leave what I had behind me... But the things behind me make me who I am. I see that now, it's not what others have done to me, but the things I've done to them.

When the world gives you a lemon... tell it you ordered an apple. Get the things you want because their the things YOU want, not what others want. Follow your dreams, tell that person just how you feel, don't hide anything... your only fooling yourself. Dare to be different, laugh, smile... it really isn't that bad if you think about something else.

Tell your perents that your thankful for all the things they've done... go on... even tell them you love them. Mend those bridges... say sorry... be the stronger one. Be happy... and if you have to... cry... even men cry.

So thank you all... Now I'm sorry, but I have to call my mother.

--------------------------------------
You only live once. But if you do it right, once is enough.

This is a good thread, it goes quite well with the adventure that Josh and I will be doing shortly.

Josh has always wanted to work OS (overseas), but has been quite stuck here for one reason or the other. I myself don't really have any reasons to be stuck here. As I am a contract worker, have my degree, etc... So now that the opportunity has arises that Josh is going OS I decided a long time ago that yeah I will do that too, as scary as it was to me at the time.

However, after telling my parents who are very much why this is the best place on earth why would you want to go anywhere else. You should get married get a morgage, get a significant other, etc, and have that whole white picket fence thing....then later you should go over seas on a holiday just like we did.

Well.. I was not happy with these comments given to me, mostly by my mother, she is very much a home body. I found them unsupportive and they made me feel very alone and scared of the big bad world…But it got me thinking, and I came up with a number of reasons why I had to go OS and travel the world now while I am young. And they were:

1) Josh is going regardless and I would like to go with him, but this goes without saying…
2) I can get a work VISA now, not later
3) There are lots of fantastic people on HOP that I would love to meet NOW not in 20 years....
4) Job opportunities are far greater for a 23 year old then if I was older.

and this is the most pessimistic approach but a valid point..
5) The world is changing, I might as well see as much of it as I can now, while I am still young, healthy and free to travel in it, then if I wait for longer, when some countries may not allow tourists etc...or worse yet, if I wait till later some countries might not even be there

So yeah in regards to my life, and contemplating packing all my things into a tiny backpack and going out into the big wide world on my own (well with the lovely company of Josh - so I am not entirely on my own, but you know what I mean)I am looking forward to it, to the people I meet, the adventures I will have, etc...and I feel that I have made the right decision to do it now, and not later as a tourist.

Incidentally after giving all these points to my family they are warming to the idea more and more, I don't think they like it much, but they know I am going to do it anyway and its what I want to do...

Uh oh more Kate ramble... sorry about that...

wow.... this thread... has had a lot of weight in it...

Especially cause i got the idea today that i really really can't afford uni... I haev some cool plans... for a few years... i don't nesc need school altho shcool had always been a big thing in my family....

i dunno... see, i'm scared... it's all very cool.. but it's a lot of travelling, a long way form anything i am familiar with...

and i have to do it alone....

it's amazingly cool! i'm grinning from ear to ear! but i'm still scared ....

thanks for listening to me ramble....

Love & Peace

Kyrian

damnit! i just finished writing a long post full of helpful hints and thoughts and all the rest and i got disconnected (i think it must be a cursed thread rozi just kidding) since im not particularly in the mood to write it all again i might have to come back another time but heres just a few points...

- yay to Kyrian!! im so scared but excited for you!!

- Rozi, i hope you find what you want to do. i have a very strong feeling you will. maybe at first you should try just doing more of the things you like to do while still keeping your job to make sure you wont get sick of them (?) nah...thats just me being scared that youll give up your job and find out you dont like fire twirling after all...not gonna happen right?

i was thinking though, that maybe some workshoppes or short courses would be a good idea so you can get an idea of which path you'd like to take.

ok well im just going to go now, sorry i couldnt help more...damned technology but my heart is with you and i wish you alll the best.

oh, and thanks for starting this topic, i think its helped a few people

love, kisses and magikal wishes, *SaM*

*chuckle*

What is it with us Australians? It must be something in the water, this desperate desire to see the world, to do something different.

It infected me a long time ago, just as it has infected millions of us over the last 200 years.

*puts on wise hat*

As someone who is still in the middle of the OS thing (although I've been in Britain so long it's starting to feel like I'll be on another OS when I do go home), here is my advice to anyone wanting to do it:

We bring our baggage with us and if we left home because of a feeling of inadequacy or a general unhappiness with our lives, then the odds are we packed those uglies in the back pack too and nothing will change when we're overseas.

What will change is that you are forced to live in the moment, forced to develop massive coping skills, that we begin to realise that we have to make the most of our opportunities otherwise life will have passed us by. The trick is to make sure we take the lessons we learn home with us and live those lessons every day of our lives.

The funny thing is that many of us see travel as THE cure-all, forgetting that we can live lives just as fulfilled at home, with the 2.3 kids, the car, the picket fence, the career. If THAT'S WHAT MAKES US HAPPY, then that's OK too, and don't ever let anyone try and tell you different because it's not true!

*ahem* Sorry, rant over!

Rozi, your timing is impeccable. My first time visiting HoP in weeks, I saw this thread and just laughed.

The day before you posted this, I mentioned to my best friend that I didn't want to go back to work on Monday. I despise the 9-5 grind, and despite only having been on the job for three weeks, I was sick of it. Like you, I never want to "work", and would rather do things that I love.

The next day I got laid off due to financial difficulties in the company.

I think life just gave me a push in the right direction.

I'm returning to my parents for the summer, finishing my degree in the fall--and then I fully intend to adopt a bohemian lifestyle, living out of my van and making money by writing, busking, and temporary contract work (I am a programmer/web designer).

This is a dream I have pieced together over the past few years of knowing that I can't stay sane in any "conventional" lifestyle...

Now, instead of just dreaming about it, I figure it's time to take steps towards living it. Good luck to all of you who are thinking the same thing!

::chicazul

Me I'm lucky(-ish)
Being your average muppet I'm into computers and stuff so being in IT is (or was) my dream job.
Unfortunately it seems that the company you work for, the people you work with and the never ending grief of commuting in and out of your workplace all seem to depress the hell out of you in the end.
Whatever you do, you'll end up bored after a certain amount of time so the best thing to do is keep on movin' till you find your happy place.
There's always good sides and bad sides to any job, and chasing your dream job instead of making the best of what you have can often make you miserable...........
Me I'm thinking of throwing some squat parties to make ends meet after this contract finishes...... Just a thought though